Forgive Yourself

Chronic remorse, as all the moralists agree, is a most undesirable sentiment. If you have behaved badly, repent, make what amends you can and address yourself to the task of behaving better next time.

On no account brood over your wrongdoing.

Rolling in the muck is not the best way of getting clean.

– Aldous Huxley, A Brave New World

Chicken & Cheese Bachelor Starch Surprise

Serves three, or one bachelor for three days.

Ingredients:

  • 4 cups water
  • 1 TBS margarine
  • 3/4 cup frozen onion/pepper mix
  • Wal-Mart Great Value Chicken Stuffing Mix
  • Wal-Mart Great Value Chicken Flavor Pasta & Sauce
  • Idahoan Four Cheese Mashed Potatoes

Bring water and margarine to a boil in medium saucepan.

Add package of Chicken Flavor Pasta & Sauce.

Add the frozen onion/pepper mix because, oh, what the heck. Onions and peppers are good.

Continue boiling over medium heat for seven minutes, stirring occasionally and wondering if it is supported to look so soupy.

Realize you used a 2 cup measure instead of a 1 cup measure, which means there is twice the water that’s supported to be in there.

Panic and search the cupboard for more pasta.

Finding none, throw in the stuffing mix, because — what the heck — it’s been in the cupboard for at least two years now.

Determine that it still looks too soupy to eat, so search for something else you can throw in to soak up the water.

Discover the package of Idahoan Four Cheese Mashed Potatoes and wonder how long that’s been up there.

Stir in the entire package.

Describe over the phone how disgusting it looks to your girlfriend. Wince as she laughs hysterically at you.

Take it off the heat and let it congeal as you look up the phone number of the local pizza delivery place.

Right before you dial the pizza number, you take an experimental taste.

Surprise! It’s delicious!

Wash it down with a bottle of good beer.

Life is good.

Salmon Love Patties

Here is a recipe from a girl I was dating back in 2007. It was yummy then and is still yummy now!

  • 2 Large Cans Salmon
  • 3 Eggs
  • ¼ Cup Mayo
  • ½ Sleeve Cheddar Pringles, crushed
  • ¼ Cup shredded (or grated) Parmesan cheese
  • Black Pepper (as much as you want)
  • Garlic Powder (to taste)
  • Celery Salt (to taste)

Mix it all up with a fork.

Heat up some olive oil in a sauté pan, make patties and brown about 6 minutes on each side (not too hot, or they will char!)

When patties are cooked, mix melted butter and lime juice, spoon over the top of patties, and serve!

Good for your heart: in love, and in health.